Rough times call for tough people

I know I blog about this a lot...but when it literally is my whole life it's hard not to think about ALL THE TIME.

I've had a rough couple weeks. I have not been in a good place in life. I anger easily. Say hurtful things. And spend a lot of time alone. And retail therapy hasn't been nice on the wallet.

I just can't seem to snap out of it.

I listen to Conference. Like, all the time.

I'm tired and most days it's a chore to get out of bed.

I'm just not a pleasant person to be around. My thoughts are constantly consumed with one thing: my "singlehood." This is the one big trial in my life.

My health is good.

I'm relatively financially stable (as stable as paying off debt gets.)

I have parents and friends who love me.

I have a roof over my head and food to eat.

I have clothes to wear and keep me warm.

I have a good job.

I really have nothing lacking. I should be very happy and grateful. But when you don't get the one thing you'd give any of the above up to have, it's hard to be grateful.

I have lately been reading The Great and Terrible series. A series written by an LDS author about the premortal life, the last days, and the Great War with Satan we are still fighting. I just finished the fourth of six books about 20 minutes ago. It left me in tears and feeling very selfish, ungrateful, and like a schmuck.

I am so lucky to live in a time with the Gospel. Where I know what the Lord's plan is for me, in general at least. I have loving Heavenly parents. I came to this earth to prove my allegiance to my Heavenly Father and my Savior. I was born into a family with the Gospel and in a country where I can live that Gospel with very little or no persecution. I live within an hour of 8, soon to be 10 temples. TEN!!!! I know where I will be going after this life.

But one other thing I thought as I read the end of the book is this: Satan remembers me. Well. He remembers how I fought in the premortal world. He remembers what I did to bring him down. He swore after being cast out to bring all the noble and great ones down. Completely. And he'll use any way he can. Now, I'm worthy for the most part. But Satan knows me well enough that he knows its not the big things he'll get me with. It's the little things.

Prayer. Scripture study. Attitude. Language. How I choose to spend my time. He knows me that well. And that scares me.

From now on, I choose to throw off Satan. To be the one that when I wake up he says "oh crap...she's up." I miss being that happy. Being in such a good place that I feel like nothing can bring me down.

Legit Dates

I have had a few young men recently ask me what I mean when I say that I like "legit dates." Here is my response to the world and these young men.

Legit date- (Lu-jit dait) -verb.
An action where a young man takes a young woman out for a night to an activity where they can converse and get to know each other to see if they are compatible for marriage. One date, however, does not mean that there needs to be any sort of commitment for long term nor any obligation on the part of either party. It's just a date.

Elder Oaks said: "Knowledgeable observers report that dating has nearly disappeared from college campuses and among young adults generally. It has been replaced by something called “hanging out.” You young people apparently know what this is, but I will describe it for the benefit of those of us who are middle-aged or older and otherwise uninformed. Hanging out consists of numbers of young men and young women joining together in some group activity. It is very different from dating.

For the benefit of some of you who are not middle-aged or older, I also may need to describe what dating is. Unlike hanging out, dating is not a team sport. Dating is pairing off to experience the kind of one-on-one association and temporary commitment that can lead to marriage in some rare and treasured cases."

Now, you young single men out there, go take a young single girl out on a legit date.

Me In a Nutshell

I just recently updated my LDSsingles profile and thought I would share it with readers...ENJOY!

"I am outgoing, fun, spontaneous, and happy! I love anything to do with the outdoors; camping, hiking, boating, ANYTHING! I love dogs, kids, cooking, karaoke, spending time with family and friends, reading, movies, lazy days, gardening, going for long drives, and long walks on the beach. I served a mission in the Canada Vancouver mission and it was the best thing I ever did! I don't know how I could be a wife and a mother without that! 

I firmly believe in long courtships and short engagements. I think people who get married super quick are crazy! I believe that, like any good thing in life, relationships take hard work. Open, honest, and sincere communication and unconditional forgiveness are key! No two people are 100% compatible, but as long as those two people are willing to work for eternity than anything is possible. 

I want someone who is strong and firm in the Gospel. Someone who is a worthy priesthood holder. Someone who will do what the General Authorities have been telling him in Priesthood session and ask me on a legitimate date. Someone who can take me to the temple. Someone who loves kids and will be the kind of Father that me and my children can rely on. I don't care about your past, even if you've been married before or already have kids! The more the merrier!

There's a lot I can handle. I am a strong girl with a good work ethic.  If you aren't willing to work hard then I'm not the girl for you.  I did mention I like lazy-days...but only on a very rare occasion.  Not many things are deal breakers for me.  You like video game? Cool.  As long as there's not problem with them.  Hunting? Ok.  Again.  As long as there's no problems with juggling priorities.  The one deal breaker I have is pornography.  I won't do it.  "Being a guy" is no excuse.  I'm expected to be worthy 100% of the time, I expect the same.  

Elder Holland said: "In this matter of counterfeit intimacy and deceptive gratification, I express particular caution to the men who hear this message. I have heard all my life that it is the young woman who has to assume the responsibility for controlling the limits of intimacy in courtship because a young man cannot. What an unacceptable response to such a serious issue! What kind of man is he, what priesthood or power or strength or self-control does this man have that lets him develop in society, grow to the age of mature accountability, perhaps even pursue a university education and prepare to affect the future of colleagues and kingdoms and the course of the world, but yet does not have the mental capacity or the moral will to say, "I will not do that thing"? No, this sorry drugstore psychology would have us say, "He just can't help himself. His glands have complete control over his life--his mind, his will, his entire future."

"To say that a young woman in such a relationship has to bear her responsibility and that of the young man's too is the least fair assertion I can imagine. In most instances if there is sexual transgression, I lay the burden squarely on the shoulders of the young man--for our purposes probably a priesthood bearer--and that's where I believe God intended responsibility to be. In saying that I do not excuse young women who exercise no restraint and have not the character or conviction to demand intimacy only in its rightful role. I have had enough experience in Church callings to know that women as well as men can be predatory. But I refuse to buy some young man's feigned innocence who wants to sin and call it psychology."

Hard words to read, I know.  But it makes my heart heavy. Nothing makes me want to crawl in a hole and cry till I'm dry than the thought that something so evil as pornography is what is keeping men from being worthy.  Something so degrading, demoralizing, and dehumanizing as that.  It makes me feel like I'll never be "good enough," when in reality I AM WORTH THE FIGHT!

Yes, I want to be married and have a family more than life itself. But I would rather remain single my whole life than to risk becoming an object and having a broken family.  

Don't like my straightforwardness?  Not my problem.  Welcome to the 21st century."

Words of Wisdom...from a dear friend.

Dear Readers, my friend Nicole just blogged something I would like to share with you...

Read it.

Follow it. 

Love it. 

Thank Nicole!

Passive Rejection: What's Wrong with It & Why It Needs to Stop