To those of you who read my blog:

You all know that I am going on a MISSION so its time to take guesses to where YOU think I will go! Just comment with your guess and I will put it on the map! A treat for whoever guesses the closest!
P.S. My call should come second or third week in JANUARY so you better guess right!

Saddest Day of my LIFE!

So with the recent events of going on a mission, I have decided to sell my car. It kind of makes me want to cry. I have loved my car and bonded with it and I will be so sad to see it go. Granted, we could keep it and just keep paying the payment while I'm gone and I see the pros about that...but I also think its kind of a waste of money for a car that will just sit there for 18 months. It is kind of exciting cause when I get back I can get a new car (well, new to me) and get to have the opportunity of bonding with another car all over again...but I HATE car shopping...its so stressful! But, its the smartest thing to do to sell it and save the money for the next 18 months. I'll cry, I'll be honest. I love my car.The day I brought her home

This car has gotten me through (almost) two winters and it does FANTASTIC in the snow! Two trips to California...one for Spring Break, one for a friend's wedding. Its a phenomenal road trip car. Plenty of room in the trunk, back seat is roomy even with the front seats all the way back, and the ride is so smooth you barely feel anything.Spring Break 2009...Southern California

And the gas mileage...talk about amazing! Its a V6 engine and it gets an average of 32 miles to the gallon just with regular driving. On the long drive to California, it gets an average of about 40! LOVE IT! I have never had a single problem or a single complaint about my car. I have loved it and would recommend a G6 to anyone! Fabulous car! I'll miss it so much!!!

Confession...

So, my wonderful cousin Katie, knowing I needed a night out, invited me to go see New Moon with her last night. I was the only single girl there...everyone else was married with 2+ kids. Thats ok though, I really needed it and I am forever grateful that Katie and I are close enough that she knew that. And I am going to be honest...I was impressed! Not only was Jacob yummylishess but the movie was better than I expected. Yes, I have read the books, yes I saw Twilight and I was NOT impressed to say the least. And I think that the actor/actress that they chose for Bella and Edward are awkward and emotionless. Not to mention...Robert Pattinson is U-G-L-Y!!! But New Moon was a surprise. I thought Kristen Stewart did a better job in New Moon than in Twilight...but then again she is supposed to be depressed the majority of the movie so she has that down pat. All except for the end...could you show just a LITTLE happiness that the love of your life is back in town and you two are together? And Robert...ENOUGH with the stressed-out-I-have-to-protect-you-all-the-time act...SMILE for pete's sake! You are supposed to LOVE Bella! By the end of the movie...I had officially switched over to Team Jacob. Who could resist those brooding eyes or washboard abs? NOT me...and I don't know how Bella did either. If I had the choice...it wouldn't be Edward...especially when you put the two next to each other with their shirts off. JACOB! JACOB! JACOB!

Tis the Season for Joy

At least its supposed to be. The last week has been really rough and I really wish that there were something to look forward to. Usually this time of year is happy and fun with time to spend with family and friends. Right now I want to crawl in a hole and cry. Or just not get out of bed. I know that life isn't supposed to be fair...but let me just add a 10-year-old-esque whine in here: This is TOTALLY unfair.

I am once again let down without any answers other than "I don't know what else to say." And sorry just didn't cut it. As I sat there on the phone and bawled my eyes out, knowing things were officially over, I didn't feel like 'sorry' was really heartfelt. There was only callousness on the other end. There wasn't even the decency to be in private. Just once I wish I held at least a couple of the cards. But when it comes to this, I never have. Its never been up to me.

I really could use something to look forward to...something to keep me going. Right now all I have is halted mission plans and moving home. I'm to the point where I don't want to hold things together anymore. I don't want to put on a brave front and act like everything will be ok. Because right now...everything is NOT ok. So if I don't smile, if I don't reply to you with some cheerful remark, if you feel like I've been especially rude to you, or if I completely ignore you I apologize in advance. I really don't mean it. I know that I shouldn't, but I'm going to just take the time I need to sulk and be alone.

I really am grateful for the friends and family I have right now though...its times like these that you learn who really cares about you and who means the most. I love all of you who have been there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on or just some time to vent. Thank you for being there for me. One thing I am sure of: As we move into yet another holiday season, I am truly gratful for my Savior and for the sacrifice he made for me. I would not be able to survive life right now if I did not have that knowledge. I don't want to do the big gatherings and parties and presents and bows this year...Just some quiet time to be with family is all I need right now. Where I don't have to put on a front and I can be surrounded by people who truly care.