STATS
-Name: Erin Page
-Gender: Female
-Age: 25 yrs
-Height: 5' 4"
-Weight: 135 lbs
-Hair Color: Blonde
-Eye Color: Blue
-Race: Caucasian
-Religion: Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints
-Relationship Status: SINGLE
I have a friend, that we shall call Marie, that is 26 and single, and we talk. A lot. She is my saving grace. The one person that understands me more than anyone else does. Being single in a church full of families is hard. Very. I would give anything to be in the place that 99% of my friends are at. With a husband, children, a home. A family. But life has dealt me a different hand and while the majority of my friends have already called out "BINGO!" I am still waiting for my other half...
While recently talking, Marie shared with me some shocking statistics. As the church grows, more and more women are joining the church. Women are more sensitive to the spirit. Men sometimes just don't feel that. As this occurs there is a growing gender gap in the Church. There are 40 active, temple-going, SINGLE females to every ONE active, temple-going, single male in the Church. The odds aren't exactly in my favor. Also, from the ages of 18-22 there is an 80% of getting married. From the age of 23-32, those chances drop to a shockingly LOW 30%. And surprisingly, at the age of 33, the chances sky rocket almost to 75%.
1 to 40. 30%. Those are my odds.
Now, I don't sit around and wallow and "woe is me" my odds at every second of every day. But sometimes, they do get to me. I am happy. I am living in Sunny Southern California. I have great family and friends who love me and hope the best for me. But I can't help but recognize the decline in the rate of marriage for the men in our Church.
Marie and I were talking about it a couple weeks ago and we were talking about the difference between the talks at the Relief Society Broadcast and the talks at Priesthood Session.
At Relief Society Broadcast we get talks along the lines of this:
"Sisters, wherever you are, whatever your circumstances may be, you are not forgotten. No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you. In fact, He loves you with an infinite love.
Just think of it: You are known and remembered by the most majestic, powerful, and glorious Being in the universe! You are loved by the King of infinite space and everlasting time!
He who created and knows the stars knows you and your name—you are the daughters of His kingdom."
-President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Forget Me Not, October 2011
At Priesthood Session, the men get talks along the lines of this:
"Now, I have thought a lot lately about you young men who are of an age to marry but who have not yet felt to do so. I see lovely young ladies who desire to be married and to raise families, and yet their opportunities are limited because so many young men are postponing marriage.
This is not a new situation. Much has been said concerning this matter by past Presidents of the Church. I share with you just one or two examples of their counsel.
Said President Harold B. Lee, “We are not doing our duty as holders of the priesthood when we go beyond the marriageable age and withhold ourselves from an honorable marriage to these lovely women.”
-President Thomas S. Monson, Priesthood Power, 2011
I'm not saying that EVERY single male in the Church fits this stereotype. But I am saying that there is an obvious difference between the counsel give to us by our Church Leaders.
I pray that one day I am in the right place, at the right time, to find my 30%.
Until then I will press forward, planning trips around the world, what kind of dog I will have, and the kind of house I want to buy and be happy with being single. Remember, this is not a woe is me post, but the next time you approach a single young lady-friend in the Church remember, she is doing the best she can to be as happy as possible given her lot in life.
And when she gets "BINGO!", you better believe that she will be the first to bring it up.........
