DONE

You know how sometimes we are forced in this life to be strong and hold on and all that garbage?! Well I'm DONE. I'm not giving up completely on life, but I'm DONE having to be strong for certain people. I'm DONE crying myself to sleep. I'm DONE hoping for things that can't be. I'm DONE waiting for certain people to catch a clue. I'm DONE loving someone who doesn't care. I'm DONE lying to myself about things. I'm DONE with the up and down emotions. I'm DONE holding on to dreams that don't exsist. I'm DONE trying to be happy when I'm not. I'm DONE faking that everything is hunky dory when it ain't. I'm DONE telling people that I'm alright when I'm clearly not. I'm DONE not knowing what the future holds. I'm DONE not telling him the truth. I'm DONE waiting for him to come to me. I'm DONE with him not caring. I'm DONE crying over him. I'm DONE hoping for him. I'm DONE, DONE, DONE! Ok........so maybe not.........maybe i still love him. maybe i still care. maybe i still have some strength left in me. maybe i'll still cry. maybe i'll still hope. maybe i'll hold on a little longer. maybe i'll still wait. maybe i'll still fake it. maybe i'll still have faith. maybe i'll tell him the truth. maybe i'll just go to him. maybe i still care enough. maybe i'll just cry to him. maybe i'll still hope for him. but just maybe. not promising anything. just maybe. thank you for letting me get that out. thats all i needed. now its bed time. my alarm goes off in 3 hours. curse this 4:30 a.m. crap. oh well. maybe. maybe i'll talk to him tomorrow. maybe. maybe......this would make a good song...hmmm...maybe....

BREAKTHROUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FINALLY I WAS ABLE TO DO IT! I wrote my first song tonight!!! It was so weird...as I knelt down to say my prayers, I had so many thoughts going through my head, but none of them were a coherent prayer. I just sat there thinking and I suddenly jumped up and grabbed my notebook! Twenty minutes later, I had it! I'd always had friends that would tell me "it'll come when it comes, don't try and force it" THEY SURE WERE RIGHT! Its not a very happy song...it just expresses alot of what I have been feeling lately. It was good to get it out on paper...and now I am sharing it with you! Please give me all the feedback you can dish out! Its only my first one...I need it! Enjoy!

Never Enough For You...

The hugs and the kisses

The prayers and the wishes

I've tried and I've failed

to let you know I care

I don't know what else I can do

to tell you I'll always be there

CHORUS:

There's so much I want to say

But I hold it all inside

My love for you is so strong

and many nights I've cried

I'm so afraid of losing you

but it seems no matter how hard I try

Its never enough for you

I've been tempted many times

to tell you how I feel

To let you know I'll never leave you

and my love for you is real

I know it hasn't been that long

You've changed my life for good

I never want this feeling to end

but I am so scared that it could

CHORUS

You are my first thought in the morning

My last prayer at night

I want to tell you everything

and be the one that you hold tight

The one you dream with, cry with, laugh with

The one you love every day and night

CHORUS

Its never enough for you...

I wish it were enough for you...