Identity

I love weekends.

I usually spend them in Pleasant Grove with my friend Brittany.

Lets be honest, when you live at home with Mom and Dad, weekends aren't super exciting. Although I love them dearly.

This weekend we had some pretty exciting plans.

I just so happened to be the weekend of the Cirque Lodge Alumni Reunion.

I was really apprehensive about going but it was important to Brittany, so tag along I would.

Friday started out with a dinner in the auditorium/ropes course room. Alright food. Good company. Pretty room. Then, we moved into a program where a few people spoke: the guy over the horses, Dave, Mr. Losee (Mrs. Losee sang a song), Gary, who cries a lot, and one of the alumni. A. Maz. ING! Afterward we circled up, all 200+ of us, just like in an AA meeting, where they had this gong thing (I seriously CANNOT remember the real name) where there was one gong for every former resident who had passed away. I was a blubbering fool. I kept thinking of everyone I have known affected by addiction, therefore affecting me.

My brother Cameron.

My cousin Garrett.

My cousin Craig.

The patient who came into Jordan Valley this week in full arrest because of an overdose who passed away.

And numerous friends and patients who come to the lab regularly for blood work.

People I know. And I just kept thinking how each one of them could be a gong that night.

The cute old man next to me in the circle up, a recovering alcoholic and former resident, held my hand tight and later thanked me for my show of emotion telling me how grateful he was for it and how refreshing it was. He was so nice and sweet.

Saturday there was a bonfire up at Aspen Grove up by Sundance where there was a meeting where people shared different experiences around the fire. As I sat and listened to them all, I noticed something.

About their identity.

They always identified by who they ARE. Not were. Not could be. Not NOT.

ARE.

Hi, my name is Erin, and I am a daughter of God. I'm imperfect. I'm afraid. But I trust, like all these people who have gone through way more than I ever will, that my higher power, my Heavenly Father, knows the bigger picture and has a plan for me.

I am going to be alright.

Thank you Cirque, Alumni, and Brittany for an AMAZING weekend!!!!!