Life is good with bad moments, not bad with good moments...

I got this quote from a friend and I really liked it. Although the bad moments tend to stick out more than the good ones sometimes, in 20 years I hope I'm able to look back and see the good ones instead of the bad ones. Life has not been nice to me lately. I've tried so hard to put on a brave face and move forward but its so hard. I don't understand. I talked to a friend of mine yesterday who has been through almost the same crap lately and she and I came to the conclusion that we may never understand and that it takes a really cold person to just stop caring. There is tiny part of me that wonders what I would do if I got the opportunity again...but I promised myself I wouldn't go there again. I hate free agency. All it took was a decision that I had no control over. And my world felt like it was shattered forever. I don't know if I'll be able to put my heart out there again. It doesn't seem worth it to me. The next guy is really going to have to prove himself if he's even going to think about seeing the other side of a first date. Moving on hasn't always been easy for me...but its never been especially difficult. This one was so different. We talked about forever...how can you say those things and then take them all back. I know its over, but even I'm having a hard time taking it all back. I only say things if I mean them...so does that make it wrong if I don't have the heart to take them all back even after he broke my heart? I meant every word...and I still do. I know I shouldn't but I do. Maybe one day it'll change. I do have a lot to be grateful for. I'm going on a mission and that will be the best experience of my life. I have a wonderful family who love me. I have some of the greatest friends in the world. And I have the Gospel. With out these three things I don't know how I would have made it through the last 2 months. It would have been impossible. I'm still trucking through and wondering if life will ever go as planned. Cat-lady-dom is looking very nice right now...too bad I'm allergic. Maybe I'll be the first dog lady...